Voyage of Discovery Leads to a Prize

Yesterday's Shelf Awareness had an item telling about the reaction of UK Guardian blogger Nicholas Lezard to

the announcement that Jhumpa Lahiri's Unaccustomed Earth had won the Frank O'Connor award outright when the judges chose to dispense with a shortlist (Shelf Awareness, July 7, 2008).

To learn more, I clicked on the link to Lezard's July 7 post:

Give Us Back Our Shortlists
The judges should have given a handful of writers the chance to put 'shortlisted for a Frank O'Connor award' on their next book

Call me provincial, but I'd never heard of the Frank O'Connor award, so I Googled it and was led to the home page of The Munster Literature Centre. (Its title bar just reads "Home Page." How dumb is that?) At the top it congratulates "new O'Connor laureate" Lahiri.

Below the little book jacket image and to the right of Lahiri's enormous headshot (oh, by the way, she's gorgeous; hmm...) is an announcement for The Sean O'Faolain Short Story Prize, which I'd also never heard of. But here's where it gets good:

• The competition is open to original unpublished short stories in the English language of 3,000 words or less. The story can be on any subject, in any style by a writer of any nationality, living anywhere in the world.
  

• Entry deadline is July 31st 2008.
  

• The winners will be announced at the International Frank O’Connor Festival of the Short Story in Cork in September. The winners will be invited to read their prize winning stories at the festival.
  

• First Prize: €1,500 (approx US$2300) and publication in the literary biannual Southword.
  

• Second Prize: €500 (approx US$790) and publication in Southword.
  

• Four other shortlisted entries will be selected for publication in Southword and receive a fee of €100 euros (approx US$158).

See full competition rules here.

Funny story...

This just in from independent book publicist Meryl Zegarek.

The Warren Adler Short Story Contest – Summer 2008
Theme is HUMOR
To enter: WarrenAdler.com

Suggested by the recent publication of Warren Adler's latest novel, FUNNY BOYS, the theme for the Summer 2008 Warren Adler Short Story Contest is humor. We're looking for humorous stories in all their varied forms. From satire to farce, from the whimsical to the uproarious, all writers looking to get a laugh (in a good way!) should enter. We are looking for the subtle and the pungent, the black and dark, the sporty, the salty, the waggish, or whatever can spark a knowing smile, a sly chuckle, or a hysterical belly laugh. In other words, anything goes, just as long as it falls into this category, however one stretches its elastic boundaries.

Entries must not exceed 2,500 words, and there is a minimum length of 1,000 words. As in the previous contests, all stories will be judged on the basis of character authenticity, plotting, narrative drive, and the skillful manipulation of the short story literary form.

Submissions will be accepted from May 1st to August 15th. Entry fee up until August 1st is $15. After August 1st, a late entry fee is $20.

Five cash prizes will be awarded.

The winning story will be awarded the $1,000 grand prize and a personalized first edition of FUNNY BOYS. Mr. Adler will also choose his top five for a People's Choice award that will also be awarded personalized first editions.

Although Mr. Adler will have already chosen the winner, five finalists' stories will be posted on the Warren Adler website on September 1st and the People's Choice winner will be determined by public voting. Warren Adler's top choice, along with the People's Choice winner, will be announced 15 September. Prizes will be as follows:

• 1st Prize: $1,000
• People's Choice Prize $500
• Remaining finalists receive $150 each

Anti-Valentine Contest Results

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Better (or worse) than Reality

Entries to the Anti-Valentine Contest (see post below) have been streaming in, several of which caused me to laugh and cringe in equal measure. As it turns out, some of the most cringeworthy turn out to have been inventions. Count on writers not to follow directions!

Consequently, I decided to post a sidebar contest for those whose imagination outstrips their experience:

You Know Your (Fictitious) Relationship is in Trouble When...

Best entries so far:

1. He leaves you the grocery list on the back of his free clinic test results -- and he has 3 STD’s. (Kim Stagliano)
2. He tells you about the great party he's invited to...and you're not. (Jennifer Macaire)
   
3. You find her address book and your name has a red line through it. (Jennifer Macaire)
4. He takes the dog out for a walk and comes back with his shirt on backwards. (Jennifer Macaire)

To enter:
Email your (fictitious) entry to {bystander at bellastander dot com} with the subject: FAKE CONTEST. I'll post the results on Valentine's Day--and maybe give a (fictitious) prize.

Never Mind the Hearts and Flowers...

No sooner was the new year here than Valentine's Day decorations started sprouting up everywhere. To which I say once again, "Bah! Humbug!"

Don't get me wrong: I'm happily married to my second--and last--husband. But I don't care for an arbitrary, mass-merchandised day for romance, especially when it comes during the most unromantic season of all. Maybe it's my low thyroid, but all I can think of canoodling with right now is a thick, fluffy sweater and a mug filled with a steaming beverage, preferably one fortified with a shot of bourbon.

Book Promotion 101 alumna Karen Quinn is promoting her new novel, Wife in the Fast Lane, with an online contest, with nifty prizes for one-liners, essays and videos summing up the multi-tasking life. One of my favorites: "I was driving to work when I realized I did not have on my shoes; it dawned on me that I had run over them in the driveway."

In a similar vein--though with no website or fancy prizes--I'm inaugurating an Anti-Valentine contest. Just finish this line, drawn from your personal experience:

You Know Your Relationship is in Trouble When…

Here are some to get you started, all 100% true:

1. He says he’s been working too much and needs to spend more time with…the dog.


2. He boasts that the sweet young thing he’s been seeing on the side told him that he’s exceptionally well-endowed…then anxiously asks you whether you think she was telling the truth.


3. Your kid finds him in bed with the babysitter—and she wasn’t even working at the time.

To enter:
Send an email to {bystander at bellastander dot com} with the subject: CONTEST.

I'll post results on February 14th; maybe by then I'll come up with some prizes.