No sooner was the new year here than Valentine's Day decorations started sprouting up everywhere. To which I say once again, "Bah! Humbug!"
Don't get me wrong: I'm happily married to my second--and last--husband. But I don't care for an arbitrary, mass-merchandised day for romance, especially when it comes during the most unromantic season of all. Maybe it's my low thyroid, but all I can think of canoodling with right now is a thick, fluffy sweater and a mug filled with a steaming beverage, preferably one fortified with a shot of bourbon.
Book Promotion 101 alumna Karen Quinn is promoting her new novel, Wife in the Fast Lane, with an online contest, with nifty prizes for one-liners, essays and videos summing up the multi-tasking life. One of my favorites: "I was driving to work when I realized I did not have on my shoes; it dawned on me that I had run over them in the driveway."
In a similar vein--though with no website or fancy prizes--I'm inaugurating an Anti-Valentine contest. Just finish this line, drawn from your personal experience:
You Know Your Relationship is in Trouble When…
Here are some to get you started, all 100% true:
- He says he’s been working too much and needs to spend more time with…the dog.
- He boasts that the sweet young thing he’s been seeing on the side told him that he’s exceptionally well-endowed…then anxiously asks you whether you think she was telling the truth.
- Your kid finds him in bed with the babysitter—and she wasn’t even working at the time.
Send an email to {bystander at bellastander dot com} with the subject: CONTEST.
I'll post results on February 14th; maybe by then I'll come up with some prizes.
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