Tuesday, August 15, 2006

A Dose of Humer...er...Humor

For three long months, my broken right arm was making steady, if slow, progress. I could move it more, lift heavier objects and--finally!--type with both hands, even though the thumb and first two fingers were dysfunctional. Then a couple of weeks ago things started going rapidly downhill. Now the arm clunks constantly, I can barely move it without pain and I'm back to almost exclusive use of my (non-dominant) left hand.

An Xray last month showed a bone splinter jutting out of the upper humerus--right where the arm hurt most, as I tartly informed my orthopedist. I had a CT scan a week ago, and one image showed the bone shaft looking like this: S
instead of this: O.

So in less than one hour I go to the hospital, where the orthopod will screw a 4" stainless steel plate to the bone. (I was assured that I'd get a special note so I could go through airport metal detectors-- my first worry.) I sent emails so informing my various correspondents. To my enormous surprise, the marvelous Miss Snark, the Literary Agent responded by running a "First (and last!) Bella Stander Get Humerus Poetry Contest."

Good thing my broken ribs and split lips have healed, else reading the entries would be excruciating. As it is, I laughed so hard my face ached. I can tell that some of the poems were written by personal acquaintances ("richly textured" in #5 is my pet-peeve phrase). Beverage Alert for #26, which had me weak with laughter, and a special nod to #10 for the brilliant Robert Frost take-off.

Laughter is indeed the best medicine. Thank you, one and all!


Suz said...

I'm sorry about the setback. Get well soon. (From the other woman of a certain age living in Denver who knows who Kinky Friedman is...)

Eric Riback said...

to all: Bella's surgery went well. She should be home in a day or so.

Ryan Field said...

As a Snark reader, just wanted to with you well and a quick recovery.

Manic Mom said...

I Didn't Write One
But Wish You Recovery
On those Bones of Yours.

There, that's a haikku, right? And it sucks, right? So, I Win!

Dana Y. T. Lin said...

Hullo, another Snarkling here. Do you know the bruhaha you've caused over at Miss Snark's blog? Anyhoo, I do hope the bad poetry is making you feel better!

Dana Y. T. Lin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
SnarkFan said...

I wandered here from Miss Snark's blog and read about your May Day accident. You're becoming an Internet celebrity!

Years back, I had a real scare with a stubborn horse who was bucking. He calmed down a bit. I had him cantor and he then came to a screeching halt near the end of the ring. I thought he was going to throw me into the wall. I was lucky.

I hope your arm gets better soon.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Feel better quick.
I'd write a poem to wish you well,
But I lack the wit.

May you heal like a pixie.