Saturday, August 26, 2006

Food for Plot

If you're looking to be the next Jodi Picoult or Thomas Harris, but stymied for plot hooks, try trolling the web searches recently released by AOL. Here are some, courtesy of Something Awful, once again brought to my attention by the Boy Wonder.

For a "woman's" novel:
can not sleep with snoring husband
online friendships can be very special
online friendships
how many online romances lead to sex
how many online romances lead to sex in person
how do i get to the omni hotel in san antonio off i 10 coming from houston
omni hotel san antonio tx
how to make a good first impression
how to make a good first impression on a man
how to drive a man crazy with desire for you
nervous about meeting online trend
god does not want you to worry because he will help you
don't cut your hair before a big event
how can a woman charm a man and make him laugh
keeping busy can help your nerves
how can i learn how to relax
staying calm while meeting an online friend
should you plan sex before meeting a cyber lover
hotels in san antonio tx near the omni
husband does not think it is good idea for me to meet my online friends
my family does not want me to meet my online friend in person
how can i tell if my spouse put spyware on my computer
i gve my heart to another man
married but in love with another
i met my cyber lover and the sex was not good
why would a guy act weird towards a woman after they had sex
guy online used me for sex
how can you tell if he used you for sex
did not like cyber friend when we met in person
online friend is horrible in person
can someone get hepatitis from sexual contact
sexually transmitted diseases
how can you get aids
how can you contract aids
symptoms of herpes of the mouth
can herpes of the mouth be transmitted to genitals
had an affair with a man and he thinks i need him now
how do you break off an affair
the guy i had an affair with won't leave me alone
post traumatic stress disorder
i thought i could handle an affair but i couldn't
affairs cause so much trouble
you will get nothing out of having an affair
how do you get a mentally ill parent to get medical help
how to get your parent help for depression

For a heartbreaking woman's novel or Grammy-winning C&W song:
signs of miscarriage
bleeding during pregnancy
bishop skylstad
catholic diocese of spokane
catholic diocese of idaho
preconception advice
pregnancy symptoms during miscarriage
planning pregnancy
pregnancy complications and mother's intuition
pregnancy danger signs
pregnancy with twins
toddler sleeping problems
relationship trouble
marriage horoscope
signs of an unhealthy relationship
pre conception
preconception checklist
signs divorce is on its way
how to avoid divorce
chat rooms for lonely married people
dad and miscarriage
how to know your marriage is over
chuck e. cheese

For a scary thriller and/or true-crime story (shudder):
tara makowski
unsolved murder of tara makowski
tara makowski found dead in car
tara makowski found dead in car in san jose
young woman named tara found dead in car in san jose
unsolved mysteries
unsolved mysteries tara makowski
unsolved mysteries tara
cold cases in san jose california
san jose police departments cold cases
edward beaton questioned about the murder
san jose police edward beaton
edward beaton of campbell
psychological test given to prisoners
test to see if you are a serial killer

For another sequel to Silence of the Lambs:
feasting on thighs of young girls
steaks for thighs of young girls
barbequed girl meat
girls fattened for butchering
cannibals feasting on buttocks of young girls
spit roasted and eaten girls
girls strangled and eaten
cooked tender flesh of girls
girls cut up into steaks

N.B. I hope with all my heart that the last two searches were for research purposes only, but I have serious dubts.


Dana Y. T. Lin said...

I'm actually considering writing a chick lit about a gal named Tara who's contemplating ways to murder her husband for snoring at night and not dealing with their sleepless toddler who only eats his steak rare.

Cera Beaton said...

My dads is edward beaton from campbell/san jose .. this is false . and shouldnt something like this be kept away frum public ?