Thursday, July 31, 2008

Where I Won't Be Friday Night

Now that the Harry Potter series is officially done ("officially" because The Tales of Beedle the Bard will be published on December 4) the latest New Big Book Craze is for Stephenie Meyer's YA vampire/werewolf series, "Twilight." This one has passed me by because I couldn't couldn't care less about the undead genre, other than the Roman Polanski film, The Fearless Vampire Killers. (Best line: When a victim flashes a crucifix at a vampire rabbi, he says, "That von't voik!" and flashes his fangs for the kill.)

Nevertheless, Meyer's series has me really steamed. Why? For one thing, the high schooler heroine, who's in love with a vampire, HAS MY NAME. For another, per a NY Times column by Gail Collins, Bella's true love Edward
won’t have sex with her because he worries he might kill her with his superstrength in the heat of the moment. So, they are forced to spend all their time kissing and cuddling and talking about their feelings....

This sure sounds like trouble to me: A generation of guys who will settle for nothing less than a porn star meets a generation of women who expect their boyfriend to crawl through their bedroom window at night and just nuzzle gently until they fall asleep.
For the record, during my misspent youth I crawled out of my own bedroom (well, dorm room) window, and I expected a lot more than semi-conscious nuzzling for my pains.

Also for the record, I will NOT be among the hordes at the Tattered Cover tomorrow at midnight, as I was for Harry Potter's last bow. BREAKING DAWN will have to break without me.


Katie Alender said...

There's uite a feeling among a lot of people that the Twilight books are the ultimate bodice-ripper ind isguise. The first book, which is the only one I read, has Bella so helpless, apologetic, and moony that it resembles emotional abuse in some places. Edward is constantly angry for no better reason than that they're in a relationship, and Bella practices a policy of appeasement. She begins to sacrifice everything else in her life just to be with him--she spends a day with some perfectly nice friends and secretly is just annoyed at them for not being Edward.

And so on.

Can you guess whether I'll be in line? And there's not even a character with my name.

Katie Alender said...

(uite = quite)
(ind isguise=in disguise)

Carleen Brice said...

OMG, a vampire rabbi! You realize there's a whole series there, right?