I'm So Ugly!

Too bad it's another 3-1/2 weeks till Halloween, because I look really scary right now. Dr R told me that I'd likely have a black eye after Wednesday's surgery on my nose and sinuses. Little did I know that said bruising would extend almost to my mouth, and be in the full spectrum of glorious Technicolor. I've got red above and yellow, green and magenta below my right eye, flowing into bright purple by the nasolabial fold.

I also wasn't prepared for the stabbing pain and acrid tears in the inside corner of my right eye, and the swollen, discolored upper lid. In fact, from the moment I awoke from the anesthesia, my eye's been hurting worse than my nose. I thought I'd recuperate in bed with a book, but reading close-up is a real pain. I've been spending more time in bed with an icepack on my face than with a book in front of it.

The other major drag is not being able to breathe through my nose. Even though I have a humidifier blasting me in the face all night, I keep waking up to take sips of water and slather ointment on my parched lips. I'm counting the days (3!) till I'm allowed to blow my nose again.

On Friday evening, I dragged my sorry carcass up the block to the Tattered Cover, where Book Promotion 101 alum Cai Emmons had a reading of her new novel, THE STYLIST. I wore sunglasses and a black baseball cap and sat in the last row, hoping to escape unobserved. (Like it's easy to overlook a six-foot woman with a big white bandage on her nose!)

Then at the beginning of her talk, Cai gave thanks to several people who'd helped her, ending with yours truly, whom she duly pointed out. Everyone turned around. I gave a weak wave and said, "I was attacked by a disgruntled author." Laffs. "But you should see the other guy." Bigger laffs, after which I was mercifully ignored till I toddled back home.