Yesterday's mail brought a press release and sample photocopied pages of DOG STARS: Astrology for Dog Lovers, by Teen Vogue astrologer Sherene Schostak and dog portrait photographer Wendy Lam, coming in November from Viking Studio. Jenny's and my reaction: "Oy! Owwoooo!"
According to the release, "This book tackles the big questions such as:
- What does your dog look for in an owner?
- Why are some dogs more affectionate than others?
- How can you tell what sign your dog is?
- If your dog could talk, what would he/she want to tell you?"
Here are my very own big answers:
- Someone who will treat it kindly and give it food, water, shelter and plenty of walks.
- Depends on its breed (or breed mix) and how it's been treated and socialized.
- Duh, figure out when it was born. But in my experience, breed trumps astrological sign. A German shorthair pointer will always be zippier than a Bassett hound, no matter what their birthdates.
- "Put down that book and pet me, walk me, feed me."
Verbatim quotes from sample page 22:
It is jdog's breed to see what sign he/she is.*Gemini's only entry is "Mutt," which Jenny finds offensive, as she has always referred to herself as a "Designer Blend" (Australian shepherd-Golden retriever, to be exact). There are many purebred dogs born May 22-June 21 who will be equally offended; and zillions of mixed-breeds born at other times of year who will be very surprised (e.g., all the dogs I've ever had).
Use this chart to figure oout what sign your pooch is by birht day or typical breed*
Special note to Miss Snark and her legions of fans: No poodles!