Tuesday, July 18, 2006

A Dog of a Gift Book

If Jenny (Max the Cat's housemate) could talk, she'd say, "I'm a Gemini...I think." Way back when, the SPCA gave her age as "14 weeks" and I did the math. So Flag Day was made her official birthday.

Yesterday's mail brought a press release and sample photocopied pages of DOG STARS: Astrology for Dog Lovers, by Teen Vogue astrologer Sherene Schostak and dog portrait photographer Wendy Lam, coming in November from Viking Studio. Jenny's and my reaction: "Oy! Owwoooo!"

According to the release, "This book tackles the big questions such as:
  • What does your dog look for in an owner?
  • Why are some dogs more affectionate than others?
  • How can you tell what sign your dog is?
  • If your dog could talk, what would he/she want to tell you?"

Here are my very own big answers:
  • Someone who will treat it kindly and give it food, water, shelter and plenty of walks.
  • Depends on its breed (or breed mix) and how it's been treated and socialized.
  • Duh, figure out when it was born. But in my experience, breed trumps astrological sign. A German shorthair pointer will always be zippier than a Bassett hound, no matter what their birthdates.
  • "Put down that book and pet me, walk me, feed me."
Preesentation Coutns!
Verbatim quotes from sample page 22:
It is jdog's breed to see what sign he/she is.

Use this chart to figure oout what sign your pooch is by birht day or typical breed*

*Gemini's only entry is "Mutt," which Jenny finds offensive, as she has always referred to herself as a "Designer Blend" (Australian shepherd-Golden retriever, to be exact). There are many purebred dogs born May 22-June 21 who will be equally offended; and zillions of mixed-breeds born at other times of year who will be very surprised (e.g., all the dogs I've ever had).

Special note to Miss Snark and her legions of fans: No poodles!


KillerYapp said...

Poodles don't consult the stars. Poodles ARE the stars.

Bella Stander said...

For the uninitiated, Killer Yapp is Miss Snark's canine companion.