I've tried to hide my shameful secret since my dad's death in 1994, but alas today I received an email with this subject header [sic spelling]:
You inherited a small dick from you father and think there is no way to help it.
But fortunately there is hope, as per the body of the message:
We promise th@t after trying Penis Enlarge Patch you dick won’t look like overly boiled sausage.
Guess I'd better get that little thing out of the safe deposit box and see what the patch can do for it. Though I don't find the notion of boiled body parts--even underdone ones--at all erotic. I wonder if I should let my new pen pal know that 1) I'm female, and 2) I prefer my sausage grilled?
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