Sunday, June 08, 2008

Hard...er...Soft Times in Nevada (Quote of the Week)

Speaking of sex (per previous post), this week's Advertising Age has two priceless stories. First there's Bordellos on Billboards: Bleak Economy Impels Brothels to Exercise Recent Right to Market.
George Flint, director of the Nevada Brothel Owners' Association [wow, there's an association for everything!], said revenue at the 25 legal bordellos for which he lobbies is down 25% to 45%, depending on the location.
Mr. Flint blames much of the downturn on the high price of diesel fuel, which led to this quote for the ages:
"An awful lot of our customers are truckers," he said. "It's the disposable income factor: Money for new wristwatches and gettin' laid just isn't there."
In the print edition, on the jump opposite the brothel article was the headline for a piece by Bob Garfield:
Ads for Lube Manage to Arouse Interest and Satisfy TV Bosses.

I thought the double entendre was unintentional, but no, the piece is about the new TV campaign for K-Y jelly. I read it aloud to Darling Husband and the Boy Wonder, stopping frequently for guffaws. By the time I got to the end my face hurt.
Nobody wants a bore-gasm, so the scientists at the K-Y company have used their microscopes, beakers and what-have-you to make the climax or peak of sexual pleasure, which occurs during sexual activity and which in males may include ejaculation and in females vaginal contractions, less ho-hum. One tube for him, one tube for her, and together ... the ultimate bonding experience!

Exactly like epoxy, only without the annoying wait.

2 comments:

eliezering said...

Well, in terms of ultimate bonding and K-Y, I once took a Human Sexual Awareness weekend in California (of course) and one of the exercises was called "The Tush Push." Suffice it to say that it involved K-Y jelly, little finger condoms, and sharing your feelings afterward. "Partner A, insert your finger..." Imagine that going on with 70 people in the room!

Eliezer Sobel
www.the99thmonkey.com

Bella Stander said...

EWWWWW!!! That's when my partner and I would have gone out to lunch.