Let's Make Guacamole, Liebchen!

Germany Abuzz at Racy Novel of Sex and Hygiene, announced the New York Times yesterday.

WETLANDS, by 30-year-old "television personality" Charlotte Roche (surprise! she's pretty and thin), has:

sold more than 680,000 copies, becoming the only German book to top Amazon.com’s global best-seller list.

The book, which will be published next year in the United States, is a headlong dash through every crevice and byproduct, physical and psychological, of its narrator’s body and mind. It is difficult to overstate the raunchiness of the novel...

[WETLANDS] opens in a hospital room after an intimate shaving accident...

Ewww!!! Must. Erase. Mental. Picture.

...eventually reaching avocado pits as objects of female sexual satisfaction...

Whoa. Avocado pits? Who knew? To think I threw two on the compost pile just this afternoon.

Hipster organic marital-aid tip:
Cucumbers, hard-boiled eggs (In the Realm of the Senses) and yams (performance artist Karen Finley) are so last-century.