To the Lighthouse...And Take It to the Bridge

Last summer, Darling Husband confided that his dream was to someday own a little publishing company. Being a good, supportive wife who has learned much in therapy, I said, oh so supportively, "Is there any way to make that happen?"

He said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I happen to know of a little publishing company that's for sale right now."

"Well," I replied even more supportively, "why don't you look into it?"

So DH did, and as of late December we became the owners of the newly renamed Bella Terra Publishing LLC, with the eponymous yours truly as publisher, editor, website designer, salesperson, order shipper, etc. DH, who has a day job that enables me to support the Denver medical community, is the silent partner and chief financial officer.

I've learned just enough HTML to be dangerous, and today posted the new website: Bella Terra Maps. The product line at present consists of illustrated guide maps to lighthouses and covered bridges.

We are in the midst of producing an updated and redesigned version of the Illustrated Map & Guide to Maine Lighthouses, due to go to press next month. I am editing and rewriting descriptions of each of the 60+ standing lighthouses in Maine, plus 2 each in New Hampshire and Campobello Island, Canada. Hence the recent posts on Maine lighthouses.

Now I'm having second thoughts about wifely supportiveness. But the work keeps me off the streets and out of the pool halls--and drinking tanks of coffee.

Pity the Poor Book Reviewer

Ed Champion (aka Bat Segundo) channels my experience as a book reviewer in a video that had me laughing out loud: The Occupational Hazards of Book Critics.

I'm still groaning about the 900-page piece o' crap I reviewed for People in 2001. The book's bestselling author was so incensed at my unflattering assessment that she exhorted her legions of fans to bombard the People books editor with nasty emails. Then she got a multi-million-dollar, multi-book deal--further proof (as if any was needed) that my opinion didn't matter a damn.

This should be screened at next month's NBCC members meeting--or better yet, at the book awards ceremony.

Looking for a Book Publicist?

According to an author I consulted with today, her agent is saying that EVERY author should consider hiring an outside publicist.

"Yeah," I replied. "Especially if it's your publisher. Sorry to say, but that was true even before the meltdown. I've heard stories."

But how do you find a book publicist to hire?

Funny you should ask...

I have a selective listing of publicists here (people get delisted if I get bad feedback from authors I've referred). And inhouse pub Yen just posted a lengthy list (in a handy spreadsheet!) on The Book Publicity Blog.

Closer than Ever

My friend Stefanie, the artistic, social & culinary doyenne of Schuyler, VA, sends this update on Onslow (at right above) and best pal Snickers (left), who despite all appearances does not officially live at her Gracious Home.

Whether it was the therapy sessions or the sudden realization that there is no "I" in "Dog," our favorite duo has a more harmonious relationship than ever.

Report from the Trenches: Don't Worry. Just Write!

Writer Bill Peschel responded thusly to my post asking people how the publishing slowdown is affecting them, How are YOU doing?

In brief, it hasn't affected me. Here's the situation: Decided a few months back to pitch the "Writers 365" book I've been posting at my blog. Prepared a proposal, sent it out to about 40 agents. An agent at a respected agency thought it wasn't for him, but thought it was salable. Two agents called, and I signed a contract with one of them after rewriting the proposal three times with her suggestions.

As of last week, the proposal is in the hands of two editors, both at reasonably large publishing houses. So it's good news, but I guess the real answer comes when:

a) we hear back from them; and
b) what, if anything, will they offer.

But so far, it's been good. And as Lauren Baratz-Logsted commented, the only thing you can control is writing the best book possible.

There's a great lesson that I'm trying to learn about control and worry. The philosophy is to not worry. Period. If you're doing the best with what you can control, what is there to worry about? And for those things you can't control, why worry about them? So why worry at all?

I answered Bill that I admire his "don't worry" philosophy. But the only times I've been able to follow it were when I was recovering from concussions. I knew my brain was returning to normal when I started worrying again.

He wrote back:

The "don't worry" philosophy is one that took me a long time to understand, and even now I still fret. But I'm getting better. Last week, I received a poisonous e-mail from someone objecting to an essay I posted. Years ago, it would have left me a puddle on the floor. Now, hardly mild irritation.

Age probably has a lot to do with it. I'm just too tired to deal with other people's nonsense when I have so much nonsense riling me already.

My Past, In Paperback

You know you're getting old when someone writes a book about The Scene that played an important part in your misspent youth--and your kid gives it to you as a present. The Boy Wonder, who's really into neo/proto/post punk music (he loves The Cramps, just like his daddy the Ex did), gave me a copy of NO WAVE by Marc Masters for my birthday in November.

I'm finally getting around to reading NO WAVE now, though of course I leafed through the book when I first unwrapped it. Was BW ever surprised when on one page I showed him a reproduction of a flyer with one of the Ex's bands listed at the top, and on another page a photo of the Ex himself in a poster for a well-known (between Max's Kansas City and Barnabas Rex) underground movie.

Once upon a time in 1979 I thought I wanted to be a music promoter, and I hung out with (or very near) a lot of the people featured in Masters's book. Looking at these 30-eek!-year-old photos is eerie; I remember many of them so well. How skinny everyone was then! (Sigh...as was I.)

I gave up on being a music promoter once I discovered that it was barely a step up from fight promoter. "These people don't read!" I remember exclaiming in disgust. Not to mention that club owners had to give a cut to the Mob in order to stay in business. Friends of mine shut down their Alphabet City bôite rather than pay protection money, then (ironically) fled to rural Italy for a year.

But I still have fond memories--and the Boy Wonder.

Fun Fact for the Day

Enterprise, Alabama, is home to the world's only monument to an agricultural pest: the boll weevil.

By destroying the cotton in Coffee County (named after a general, not the beverage), the weevil caused farmers to start growing peanuts and thus regain prosperity.

Wikipedia tells more.

The Perfect Summer Job

Looking for an isolated spot to complete your magum opus--or just enjoy some of Elmer Fudd's "nice west and wewaxation"--from Memorial Day to Labor Day?

How about this: Be a summer caretaker at Maine's Seguin Island Lighthouse.

The job requires "two compatible people" to live on the 64-acre island, 2 miles out from the mouth of the Kennebec River, near(ish) Popham Beach. Specs are here (scroll down); stipend may be $75/week.

NB: Must like foghorns. Seguin's blows three double-blasts per minute on the many foggy days. The concussion is said to knock nearby gulls from the air.

How are YOU doing?

Headlines from the publishing world make one reel: layoffs, budget cuts, book review sections cancelled, conventions cancelled (BookExpo Canada was axed yesterday).

I'd like to get a peek behind the news. How is all this affecting you people in the trenches: agents, editors, publicists, writers?

Leave a comment or email me: blog (at) bellastander.com.

"Awww" for the Day

As counterprogramming to The Big Game (since I'm not an official sponsor, I can't mention the Super Bowl), here's a genuinely heartwarming story, courtesy of the Friends of Pemaquid Point Lighthouse, Maine: A True Whale Tale

Counterweight to Publishing's Chicken Littles

The sky is falling! Just this week we have:

• major layoffs at Publishers Weekly
• the demise of Washington Post "Book World" as a stand-alone section
  
• "voluntary retirements" at HarperCollins
• and for good measure, a monster storm in the Northeast

Novelist Jason Pinter provides a welcome tonic for all this on his blog by asking:

What is one thing you would do to change book publishing for the better?

See the (mostly) intelligent responses in The Future of Publishing.

Ten Cents a Dance Makes ALA Top Ten

Last week, I detailed consulting client & workshop alum Christine Fletcher's outreach efforts to YA bloggers in It's an Honor (and a bunch of work) Just to be Nominated.

When I opened my email this morning, I found this euphoric message from her:

Just had to tell you...Ten Cents a Dance was just named one of the 2009 Top Ten Best Books for Young Adults!

TOP freakin' TEN!!

I'm so glad to have events scheduled in Chicago next month!

I'd steered Christine (who'd cleverly set aside her advance so she could spend it on promotion) to publicist Kelly Powers of Obie Joe Media. She posted this comment:

Effort begets awards...especially when the book is as good as Ten Cents a Dance!

And the book is good. Set in Chicago at the outset of WWII, it's about a girl from the stockyards who drops out of high school to become a "taxi dancer" (dime-a-dance girl). I couldn't put it down. A little birdie told me that the Denver teens who met with the ALA BBYA committee last weekend were raving about it. Here's hoping it wins a Cybil Award as well.

The Circle Game

As ardent fans may remember, I've had three surgeries on my right arm since breaking it--along with 2 ribs, nose, sinus, palate & browbone--when I was thrown off a horse on May Day 2006. The last surgery was in mid-June, when I had the 6" plate removed from the humerus, and carpal tunnel release done on the wrist. (See I've Lost That Magnetic Feeling.)

The surgery went well and my arm soon hurt much less. Things were going great, though I never regained feeling in the numb middle finger. Then on the morning of September 27, I woke up with my right hand horribly asleep. It took a good 10 minutes for the feeling to come back and when it did, my arm was hurting worse than it had in months. On a drive to the mountains with Darling Husband that day, I went nuts trying in vain to find a comfortable position for my right arm on the shotgun seat armrest, and had to put the shoulder strap under my arm because I couldn't bear to have it touch my shoulder.

A few days later, I went to see Dr H, who did the 2nd & 3rd surgeries.

Me: "My arm's killing me. What's going on?"

Dr H: "Well, you'll have good days and bad days."

Me: "Why am I suddenly having bad days after three months of good days?

Dr H: "Hmmm... Maybe you should get psychological counseling."

Nothing makes me crazier than a doctor (and it's always a man) telling me I should see a shrink. I pointed out to Dr H that the pain is in my arm, not my head. Then he basically told me to suck it up and get lost.

So I called Dr A, the orthopedic specialist who removed the lipoma from my right shoulder a year ago. Her assistant told me to see Dr B, a neurosurgeon.

Dr B examined me in early November, but he wasn't sure surgery would be helpful. So he sent me to Dr C, a neurologist/physiatrist at the poetically titled Amputee Services of America. (There's nothing like seeing people missing half a leg--or two--to give one perspective.)

Dr C had me get MRIs of my right arm and shoulder. The one of my arm had him concerned, so last week he sent me to see Dr D, an arm/shoulder specialist at the busiest orthopedic practice ever. My appointment was for 1:00 and I didn't see Dr D till after 2:30. Good thing I brought a thick book.

Dr D: "Hmm... looks like edema on the humerus. Maybe the bone is infected."

Me: "Great. Now what?"

Dr D: "Go for some blood tests, then I want you to see....

[ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?]

[REALLY???]

...Dr A. She's a specialist in bone infections."

So this afternoon I went back to Dr A. (She always wears the snazziest shoes. Today she had on cowboy boots of some exotic leather. Orthopedic surgery sure must pay.)

Dr A: "There's nothing I can do for you. I told you that last year."

Me: "What about my blood work?"

Dr A: "Looks fine. No infection."

Me: "I figured as much. But now what? My arm's still hurting."

Dr A: "You're never going to get back to the way you were before."

Me: "How about just the way I was on Sept. 26?"

Dr A: "Never happen. Maybe you should see a pain management specialist. Or go see Dr E, the neurosurgeon. He does amazing things with spinal implants that interfere with pain transmission to the brain."

Me: (No f*cking way!) "I have an autoimmune disorder. Implants mess me up."

Dr A: (shrugs) "Then Dr B and Dr C should settle this between them."

On the way to the elevator, I passed by Dr C's office. Amazing fact: HE HAS TIME TO SPEAK TO PATIENTS, EVEN WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE AN APPOINTMENT. So I stopped in and gave him the happy news that now he has to confer with Dr B.

In the meantime, I'll suck it up and get lost.

There Will Be Blood

Call me gullible or impressionable, but I'm actually feeling kind of hopeful this week. It's not just the new year or the inauguration (which I loved most for its goofs and gaffes) or even that—please, please—publishing business firings are coming to an end, at least for a while.

So wrote Publishers Weekly editor-in-chef Sara Nelson in her column last week, entitled "Change I Believe In." Now call her "fired," as she and other PW staffers were let go today when corporate owner Reed Business Information laid off 7 percent of its workforce. (See story in Portfolio.com). Executive editor Daisy Maryles, who'd been with PW--her sole employer--for 40 years, was laid off as well.

RBI also owns Variety. Bloodbath At Variety: Hammond, Thompson Let Go is one of the lead stories on the opening day of website TheWrap, founded by former NYT & Washington Post entertainment reporter Sharon Waxman.

I won't comment on the irony of niche websites reporting on the demise of the very publications they're supplanting. (Disclosure: I was a PW contributing editor for 14 years and stopped reading it in favor of the more timely and interesting GalleyCat and Publishers Marketplace.)

Media Miss

Media trainer extraodinaire Eileen Winnick, a frequent speaker at my NYC workshops, recently started a blog. Check out her post A Media Miss: Lucy, the Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes for a tale of how not to prepare--and what not to wear--for a TV interview.

How NOT to Seek Fame

Think before you pitch! From the NY Observer:

Fashion Photographer Senses Opportunity
in US Airways Plane Crash

Cri de coeur

The author quoted in Team? What Team? filled me in some more. Alas, it's a story I've heard far too many times--most recently from participants in the Teleseminar I gave yesterday--and it always makes steam come out of my ears:

I've done everything you suggested, to no avail. At a marketing meeting with my "Acme Publishing" crew before the book was published, I told them what I was planning. They told me nothing of what they intended to do. In hindsight, that should have been my first clue.

My agent told me not to believe anything the Acme publicist promised, but to follow up on everything myself. I thought my agent was exaggerating; it was unbelievable to think that the publisher who had paid thousands of dollars for my work wasn't going to promote it.

But it seems my agent was correct, because all of the interviews, newspaper articles, book signings and speaking events I did were set up by me. Distribution was excellent, but publicity? Zero.

I suspect sales are below my publisher's expectations, and worry that Acme is going to blame me. I feel like a failure, even though I know I did everything I could to promote my book.

"I can imagine your crushing disappointment," I wrote back.

Then I started wondering: How can a business survive by spending oodles of money to bring a product to market, only to ignore it? WTF are publishers thinking???

And how do agents manage to keep doing business with people who always lie? I'm not saying agents shouldn't, else they wouldn't do much business. (Though it sure would be nice if publishers' toes were held to the fire.) How do agents--and authors--keep themselves going amidst such falseness?

Remember, I wrote to the author:

1. You're not a failure.
2. You did your best.
3. The world is filled with wankers.

More Inauguration Theme Songs

Sung by the crowd as the helicopter flew off with ex-president George W. Bush:


The songs echoing in my head today:

Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead!


I'm So Glad

Inauguration Theme Song

I've been watching a lot of old movies lately, as I've found escapism great for the soul. Therefore a phrase in Barack Obama's inaugural speech sounded especially familiar: "pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again." Perhaps not coincidentally, it echoes a song that was popular during the Depression, sung by Ginger Rogers & Fred Astaire in the 1936 movie "Swing Time." Nearly three-quarters of a century later, the lyrics are still fresh and timely.

From "Pick Yourself Up," words by Dorothy Field, music by Jerome Kern:

Nothing's impossible I have found,
For when my chin is on the ground,
I pick myself up,
Dust myself off,
Start all over again.

Don't lose your confidence if you slip,
Be grateful for a pleasant trip,
And pick yourself up,
Dust yourself off,
Start all over again.

Work like a soul inspired,
Till the battle of the day is won.
You may be sick and tired,
But you'll be a man, my son!

Will you remember the famous men,
Who had to fall to rise again?
So take a deep breath,
Pick yourself up,
Dust yourself off,
Start all over again.

The End of an Era

YA author Sally Nemeth sums it all up in this blog post.

January 20 is a doubly big day chez Bella: Not only does Barack Obama become president, but the Boy Wonder (who helped elect him) begins college at Metro State Denver. Darling Husband, who's taking a vacation day to watch the inauguration on TV, is going to send my little boy (6'4") off to school right with homemade waffles.

BW will be wearing a Married to the Sea T-shirt ("No kidding. I hate voting.") to his Intro to Women's Studies class. And on Wednesday, he'll wear The Communist Party T-shirt to Intro to Critical Thinking. I'm so proud I raised a wiseguy!

It's an Honor (and a bunch of work) Just to be Nominated

Book Promotion 101 workshop & consulting client Christine Fletcher recently wrote to let me know that her 2nd YA novel, TEN CENTS A DANCE, had been nominated for a Cybil Award. I quickly went online and learned that the Cybils are the children's & young adult bloggers' literary awards.

I congratulated Christine, then asked how she got nominated: "I'm assuming it's because you reached out to teen bloggers. Please tell me more."

Here's her response. Take notes!

I found out about the Cybils from a YA blogger conference I went to last September. I never would have heard about it otherwise. Initial nominations were made by the public; once the books were nominated, a panel of judges from the YA blogging world chose the finalists. Winner will be announced Feb 14.

One thing I learned at the conference: There are teen YA bloggers, and then there are adult YA bloggers (librarians, many of them, although some just love kidlit). The conference was by and for the adults. Before that, I wasn't aware of them (they don't seek out authors on MySpace and Facebook, like teens do), and I think many weren't aware of me.

At the end of the conference was an authors' hour in which attendees could browse our titles. Many authors sold their books, but I gave mine away because I wanted to get copies into as many hands as I could. There I met one of the bloggers and conference speakers, Jen Robinson. [Check out her EXTENSIVE blog roll.] After we chatted a bit, and I promised I wouldn't hassle her for a review, she took a copy of my first novel, TALLULAH FALLS. A few months later, she posted a lovely review on her blog. I offered to send her the second novel, she accepted, and she gave that a great review, too.

So between meeting people passionate about kidlit, learning about the Cybils, and having the chance to raise awareness of my books, it was a Saturday very well spent.

As far as the teen reviewers, I sent Ten Cents a Dance to five or six, hoping I could get some online buzz going. It did get picked up by others and so far, they've all given the book great reviews. One blogger, Reviewer X, invited me to participate in a week-long celebration of strong heroines on her blog. I wrote a guest post, which went up the same day as Reviewer X's interview with Libba Bray (she of A Great and Terrible Beauty trilogy NYT bestsellerdom.) It was fabulous exposure--lots of comments on my guest post, lots of hits on my website, tons of people entering the contest for my book.

Long story short: When it comes to YA, I am a BIG believer in online promotion.

Stylin'

What you say is important, but so is how you look. Don't believe me? Consider that people are still talking about how the pasty-faced, sweating Richard Nixon lost to the cool, Max Factored JFK in that first televised presidential campaign debate. As a friend of mine once said: "Presentation is everything."

In the Roundtable on today's "This Week with George Stephanopoulos," check out Donna Brazile's & Gwen Ifill's elegant and beautifully coordinated clothing, jewelry and makeup. The guys are well put together too: George Will's & host George S's outfits are subtle and tasteful, while EJ Dionne's is snappy and tasteful (love that red tie!). Kudos to the ABC stylists.

And then we have Doris Kearns Goodwin, who has an unfortunate affection for eye-popping trim and clashing accessories, per below. She wore the chain-collared jacket at left today on "Meet the Press" (see closeup at 5:46) with a screaming yellow shirt and gold-bead necklace. EEEEK! Somebody make her stop!












The men looked much better, though David Brooks's pale mauve shirt didn't complement his sallow coloring (his colors work better online than on my TV.)

Team? What Team?

At the Backspace forums, where I answer publicity questions every month, an author asked:

I read your blog post [Frame These Words!], and while I certainly agree with an author's viewing their relationship with their inhouse publicist as a partnership in theory, in my experience, the reality was much different.

I asked my publicist how they wanted to work together when they were first assigned to me, and only got a vague answer. I kept them informed of all of the publicity I had lined up; they told me nothing of what they were doing (and aside from their sending out arcs and galleys for review, I saw no evidence of any initiative on their part). At one point, I asked for a copy of the press release they'd been using, and was told that sending out press releases was my responsibility.

It's all well and good to advise authors to try to be a team player, but what's an author to do if there's no team to play with?

My response:
Ugh. This is the sort of story that gives publishers a bad name. How easy would it be for them to sit down with an author--or at least send an email--detailing EXACTLY what they're going to do to publicize the book and what they expect the author to do? But then I'd be out of a job...

You can tell pretty early on if the publisher is unenthusiastic about your book and isn't going to be doing much for it. Vague responses, no marketing/publicity timeline, late (or no) answers to your emails & phone calls are all dead giveaways.

So what to do? To quote publicist extraordinaire Kim-from-LA: "Give them energy, not problems." Act as though you're all on the same team and working together--because you are, even if the other players are deadbeats.

Charge full steam ahead with your own plans, but make sure EVERYONE is in the info loop. Send periodic (weekly or monthly) emails to your agent, editor & publicist with updates of what you're doing & your upcoming events & media. This will lessen the chance for ugly surprises, such as you & the pub pitching the same media; or you doing a radio interview in a big market & there being no books in area stores.

Most important: NO WHINING. And thank your publicist for all her help, even if you think she's done nothing. Thanking her might make her feel guilty, which might get her to do more. If you yell at her she'll feel resentful, even (or especially) if you're right, and she'll do even less. As an author I know said, "Making a publicist--even a bad one--angry at you is shooting yourself in the foot."

Keep in mind that if your publicist isn't doing much for your book, it may be because that's what her boss told her. If your publicist is the boss, well, you're SOL & you know it's all up to you.

Frame These Words!

One of my clients ("Jane") had a bad experience with her former publisher ("X"). Now she has a book coming out this summer with a new publisher ("Y"). She's busy writing a marketing plan, putting together an extensive mailing list and lining up promotional events. All good. (If you haven't started doing this for your own forthcoming book, get cracking!)

BUT...Worried that she'll get the same lackluster support from Y as she did from X, Jane wrote a press release for Y to use "as a first pass suggestion." (X hadn't bothered to write one, so Jane wound up doing it for them.) Fortunately, she asked my opinion of it before she sent it off.

I responded, in several emails:

Writing the press release is Y's job; don't step on their toes. Ask--very politely--if they've written one yet, and if so, could you see it. If they haven't, only then say that you took a crack at it yourself, to serve till they do a better one. (Note the flattery.)

You have to walk a very fine line: There's a lot they won't do for your book, but it's insulting to them--and needless additional work for you--to assume they'll do nothing. This is why you have to have a meeting--or at least a conversation--in which you find out exactly what they plan on doing for the book, and what you can do to augment their efforts. [Note augment, not replace.]

Jane said she's going to frame my final words:

Remember: You are business partners, not adversaries; working together, not at cross-purposes. What happened with X is ancient history; you're with Y now and have to make the best of it there.

Oops

I accidentally double-booked myself. My next phone-in seminar will be on January 22--not the 21st as originally announced. (I've corrected my website & the post: Phone It In with Bella!)

Larry Flynt Gives Good Headline

From the CNN Political Ticker:
Porn industry seeks federal bailout

Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry....

"People are too depressed to be sexually active," Flynt said in the statement. "This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

Here's my slogan for these troubled times:
Porn is Patriotic!

Wouldn't it be funny if it caught on? Though honestly, there's nothing sexier than having enough to eat and a roof over one's head.

What to Tell Your Would-Be Readers

"You can find my book at your favorite bookstore, and if it isn’t there, find a new favorite."

--Joan Rivers, author of MURDER AT THE ACADEMY AWARDS, in Sunday's NY Times (but don't follow her advice on plastic surgery!)

Phone It In with Book Clubs!

MATRIMONY author Joshua Henkin ("the hardest-working guy in the author biz") was recently featured, along with STANDING STILL author Kelly Simmons, in a Philadelphia Inquirer story, Author, your group is calling.

Henkin has spoken by phone or in person to 80+ book groups. Wow! However does he do it?

Oddly, Henkin's latest visit with yet another group of women he had never met - by speaker at the Jersey Shore group - was entirely initiated by . . . Henkin.

Here's what happened.

One member had rated the book on Goodreads.com, a social-networking site based on books. Despite the mixed review she gave (3 out of 5), she found herself on the morning of the meeting with an e-mail from the author himself.

"Shelley - Thanks for rating MATRIMONY on Goodreads. I don't know if you're in a book group, but I've been participating in a lot of book-group discussions of MATRIMONY, and I'd be delighted to participate with your book group. Let me know if you'd be interested. Best, Josh."

Wow. Um, OK. Well, Josh, as a matter of fact, it's tonight....

Though most of the visits are initiated by readers, Henkin said he also contacted people through various book blogs that have reviewed Matrimony, that have done Matrimony giveaways, and where he has guest-blogged. Henkin is also on Facebook.

Hardly rocket science, but ferreting out book groups and speaking to them does take quite a bit of time. Not coincidentally, Henkin told me back in March that he was way over deadline on his new book. I wrote him today whether I dared ask him how it's going.

His reply:

The new book? What new book! Actually, it's finally coming along pretty well....

So we have a happy story all around.

Phone It In with Bella!

My next author TeleSeminar will be on January 22, 6-7:30 pm EST. (Date was originally Jan 21.)

The session is limited to 10; includes Q&A. Each participant gets an individual 15-minute follow-up consultation.

To make it more affordable, I've lowered the price from $90 to $65. FULL INFO HERE.


Photo by Robert W. Kelley for LIFE.

Quote of the Day

From the NY Times review of Carrie Fisher's new memoir, WISHFUL DRINKING. She's the daughter of Hollywood stars Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher ("the Jennifer and Brad of their day"), who left Debbie for Elizabeth Taylor ("Angelina, plusher and without the tattoos").

When the author was 15, Ms. Reynolds gave her a vibrator for Christmas, and also gave one to her own mother, who declined to use it for fear it would short out her pacemaker.

Partay!

Thanks to a dearth of invitations, once again Darling Husband and I will be spending New Year's Eve at home alone. I was feeling a bit forlorn, but no longer. Because now I have the ultimate rockin' good-time video, forwarded to me by YA author Sally Nemeth.

Move over Alvin & the Chipmunks! Here comes Hamster on a Piano (Eating Popcorn):



This is the perfect setup for the Netflix DVD that arrived today, "The Velvet Underground: Under Review."

Happy New Year!

Quote of the Year...or,Mr. Galbraith Gets the Last Laugh

Over lunch, I read the Quote of the Day to the Boy Wonder. He said, "I have something better. You gotta hear this one!"

He whipped out THE GREAT CRASH: 1929, by John Kenneth Galbraith, which the Ex sent him for Christmas. (BW is starting college on Jan. 20 as an economics major.)

From Galbraith's new introduction, written in 1997:

Always when markets are in trouble, the phrases are the same: "The economic situation is fundamentally sound" or simply "The fundamentals are good." All who hear these words should know that something is wrong.

Last night, BW, Darling Husband and I had dinner with Chris Matthews. (OK, we ate off trays while watching "Hardball," on DVR.) Yesterday's show listed the best and worst political moments of 2008. Guess what was #1 in "Biggest general election moments"?

Give up?

"The fundamentals of our economy are strong."
--John McCain

BONUS QUOTES:

"We all didn’t quite see what was happening.”
--Margaret Hedberg, director of the International Debutante Ball, per the NY Times.

She brushed off the $14,000 cost of a table — “Watches cost more.”
--Marie Antoinette. Oops! I mean Margaret Hedberg.

Quote of the Day

"I spend my days inside stomachs, and believe me, you could get lost in some of them."
--gastroenterologist Nicholas Belitsos

From Whether True or False, A Real Stretch, in which NY Times writer David Kamp deconstructs Diamond Jim Brady's legendary appetite.

The Author Business...or, Why I'm in Business

The other day, I received a thought-provoking comment to a May post, "You have to sell books":

The problem with authors having to sell books is not having to do it, but their lack of skill at thinking on those terms. The skills required to write a page-turner are not the same as scheduling events, mailing postcards, being interviewed, and keeping copious notes on who was helpful for the second time around.

I love speaking as an author or even motivational talks using my novels as material, but the work that goes into requesting a spot is endless and takes me away from what I do best, working through dilemmas with my characters, using words as paint. It's not all bad, just hard and time-consuming. And the establishment (newspapers, TV, reviewers) don't give small press authors nearly their due, so it's frustrating to spend the time and not be deemed 'worthy' of recognition based on not having a large NY house behind you or not having received a newsworthy advance.

The first paragraph lays out why I started Book Promotion 101 six years ago: because of authors' lack of promotional (read: business) skills. I say and write this till I'm blue in the face & fingers:

If you sell your writing, you're not just a writer.
YOU'RE IN THE WRITING BUSINESS.

Which means you have to manage your business. Which means that, just like every other businessperson--whether artist, contractor, doctor, shopkeeper or lil ol' me--you have to do:

• promotion & marketing
• sales
• collections

Regarding the second paragraph quoted above:
Yes, the promotional work is endless. As I wrote in the previous post, it's a marathon, not a sprint.

Small press authors aren't the only ones who "don't get their due"--which is what, exactly?--from the "establishment" media. I could tell many stories about clients who couldn't get no respect from their large NY houses; though after working with me they usually clawed out some. And very few authors (especially children's & YA) have been receiving "newsworthy" advances; even fewer will in the current dismal economic climate.

Speaking of the economy, if you look at Publishers Marketplace, you'll see that book deals are still being made. And though newspaper book review sections have been decimated, authors and books are still being covered in print, broadcast and online media. Bookstores are still hosting signings; organizations across the country are still hosting author talks; book clubs still want to have authors visit or phone in; there are still book festivals all over; schools are still paying to have authors do programs for students.

In short: It's time to get down to business for 2009.

"But I Can't Do It All!"

In my workshops and consulting sessions with authors, I stress that publicity is a marathon, not a sprint, and that no one person can do it all. Then I spin out a gazillion suggestions and publicity ideas. By the end, my clients tell me that they feel like their heads are about to explode. "Then I've done my job," I cheerfully reply.

As anyone who's done them knows, "simple" things--putting together a mailing list, producing promotional materials, searching out community & online interest groups--can take vast amounts of time.

What to do? Hire a Virtual Assistant. Here are a couple of places to find one:

• Virtual Assistants Forum
• Elance - great for all sorts of freelancers

Yes, this means spending money, but it's a tax-deductible business expense. And you'll be freed up to do the things that only you can do, such as write your next book.

A 100-Year-Old Grand Entrance...and A Grand Passion

We're reviving a tradition, established when we lived in Virginia, of throwing a Twelfth Night Party, complete with a community reading of Mr. Shakespeare's play (abridged by yours truly). As is also my tradition, I've been doing research on Twelfth Night, and found some fascinating nuggets in the NY Times online archives.

One article, dated 108 years ago today, details a gala reception held by the Twelfth Night Club (the women's answer to The Players) in honor of actress Sarah Bernhardt, scheduled for 3 till 6pm the previous day:

...elaborate preparations were made...There were many decorations, flowers, and a prettily set tea table...[but] for a long time the divine Sarah did not appear....It was after 5 o'clock and only the very hungriest of the guests had ventured to take a cup of tea, when a genuine message came: 'Tell the ladies to wait. I am on the way.'

...and suddenly there was a flutter of black and white, a whisk like the passing of a breeze...It was Sarah herself, picturesque in her big black hat, her black chinchilla-edged coat thrown back, from a beautiful gown of white, with roses and orchids on her breast, looking young [ha! she was 63 with a bum knee], animated, and altogether charming. The club gave her an ovation....while Bernhardt beamed ecstatically. "I zank you wis all my heart," she said.

The article immediately below it was just as interesting. Under the headline, "Divorce for Robert Graves: Court Order Gives Wall Paper Manufacturer Custody of His Child," we learn:

The domestic troubles which led to the divorce began when Mrs. [Charlotte De Grasse] Graves met J. Hamilton Jaffray, Jr., of Yonkers. He called frequently on the Graves home, at Irvington, until warned to keep away.

Mr. Graves sold the Irvington property and came to New York City to live. His wife still met Mr. Jaffray, and the divorce proceedings followed....Mr. Jaffray proclaimed his willingness to marry Mrs. Graves should the Court set her free from her husband; declaring that she was a woman of whom any man might feel proud.

Here's the odd thing: I went to high school in Irvington, and had a friend there who lived in Jaffray Park. I wonder whether J. Hamilton moved there with the ex-Mrs. Graves; or maybe he was a frequent caller in Irvington because he had family close by.

Take this Test!

Wild times in Schuyler, VA.

From my friend Stefanie, artistic, social & culinary doyenne of greater Schuyler (pop. 1,286):

One of these large amorphous shapes is a carbon-based life-form. The other is an inanimate object. Can you tell which is which?

Its constant presence notwithstanding, the object on the left (aka "Snickers") officially belongs to Stefanie's neighbors down the road.

For Your New Year's To-Be-Read Pile

Wondering what to read in the coming months? Take a gander at my clients' books:

• UNDONE, by Brooke Taylor (July '08)
  
• WILL I EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, by Karyl McBride (Sept. '08)
• CANCER IS A BITCH: Or, I’d Rather be Having a Mid-Life Crisis, by Gail Konop Baker (Oct. '08)
• VIDALIA IN PARIS, by Sasha Watson (Oct. '08)
  
• THE ENTIRE EARTH AND SKY: Views on Antarctica, Leslie Carol Roberts (Oct. '08)
• LAST KNOWN POSITION: Stories, by James Mathews (Nov. '08)
• THE BLACK GIRL NEXT DOOR: A Memoir, by Jennifer Baszile (Jan.)
• ACCORDIAN DREAMS: A Journey into Cajun & Creole Music, by Blair Kilpatrick (Jan.)
• HOTEL ON THE CORNER OF BITTER & SWEET, by Jamie Ford (Jan.)
• GLOBAL WARMING IS GOOD FOR BUSINESS: How Savvy Entrepreneurs, Large Corporations, and Others are Making Money While Saving the Planet, by K.B. Keilbach (Mar.)
  
• VAMPED, by Lucienne Diver (May)
• THE KING OF VODKA: The Story of Pyotr Smirnov & the Upheaval of an Empire, by Linda Himelstein (May)
• REAL LIFE & LIARS, by Kristina Riggle (June)
  

Shalom! Christmas Sing-Along

New:


An instant classic from last year:

And yes, Darling Husband, the Boy Wonder and I will be going out for Chinese food and a movie today. Too bad we can't be in NYC for the Chinese buffet and Monty Python double feature at the 92nd St. Y. ("Holy Grail" and "Life of Brian" on Christmas--how perfect!)

Update 11:30 pm:
We were in despair of finding a movie that would suit all three of us, but then discovered that today was the last day for "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" at Starz Film Center. Woody Allen! The perfect Jewish Christmas! Which we capped off after the movie by lighting the menorah and tucking into traditional English roast beef and Yorkshire pudding with horseradish mousse (we're very Reform), followed by the best chocolate chip cookies EVER. (Besides the ingredients, the secret's in refrigerating the dough for at least 24 hours.)

It's a Wrap!

Response to Dog Rest Ye Merry, direct from Schuyler, VA:

You know, sometimes during a photo shoot with the boys, nerves get frayed (you can see that in the images, can't you?), words get barked that can't be unbarked, somebody eats a biscuit that was meant for somebody else. It's all part of the wear and tear of the creative process.

Yet seeing our finished work in print on your blog, knowing that our take (or should I say "fetch"?) on the world is reaching millions...well, it makes it all worthwhile.

Thank you thank you thank you,
--Stefanie & troupe

Happy holidays to all!

Dog Rest Ye Merry

Onslow & Snickers get into the Christmas spirit.

I know what you've been thinking:
"Enough about book publicity, and your self-absorbed musings! What's been going on with the dogs in Schuyler, VA?"

Well, my friend Stefanie, social and culinary doyenne of Schuyler, just sent me the above photo. As you can see, Onslow and regular visitor Snickers (aka "the canine Kramer") are working on a holiday-themed synchronized napping routine. I like how Onslow's hind foot is tucked into his armpit. Note the supine penguin at rear (for scale); and in the basket at upper right, part of the banner of Charlottesville's own newspaper, The Daily Progress (aka "the Regress").

For more awwww-some photos, check out GalleyCat and the Rocky Mountain News Holiday Pets Slideshow (my favorites: #4, 13, 19, 43, 57, 58, 60).

The Last Round-up

Carleen Brice's Black Book Welcome Lady video led to an opinion piece in Sunday's Washington Post: Reading Too Much Into Race. NB: Books by African-American authors make great gifts!

My favorite webmaster (and all-around nice guy), Steve Bennett of Authorbytes, gets top billing; and Carol Fitzgerald, founder of the Bookreporter.com empire, gets the best quote in a Publishers Weekly piece: Finding Value in Author Web Sites. (In my day at PW, we wouldn't have mislabeled bestselling novelist Chris Bohjalian as a "journalist." Hmpf!)

Author Marianne Mancusi shares excellent book party tips at Agent Kristin's Pub Rants. Be sure to read the comments for even more pointers.

Client Alison Larkin's debut novel, THE ENGLISH AMERICAN (which makes a great gift!), has been optioned by ABC TV for a half-hour series, with the Mark Gordon Company ("Grey’s Anatomy") attached to produce. Woo hoo!

Book Promotion 101 alums Jennifer Kaufman & Karen Mack just got a deal with Bantam Dell, who published their first two novels (which make great gifts!), for their third. FREUD'S MISTRESS is described as a "what-if" novel exploring the potential affair between Sigmund Freud and his sister-in-law, and looks at his complicated (ya think???) personal life and family relationships. I wonder if there'll be any cigar jokes...

The Pit Bulls of New Orleans calendar, a pet project of author Ken Foster, is on sale. (Hint: It makes a great gift!)

The Best Gift Imaginable

The front-page section of today's New York Times had at least 5 full-page ads for men's watches. "No present like the time," I quipped to Darling Husband.

But when he looked at page 3 of the National section, his chuckles abruptly turned to tears. As did mine.

There was another full-page ad, with "Imagine peace" in large type, in many different languages. Much smaller, centered on the bottom line: "love, yoko."

The Gift that Keeps on Hurting

Baby Bro sent me a link to The Doghouse, a video from JC Penney that cracked me up, though I disagree with the sell line kicker. Guys who've given their female partners dumb gifts (a vacuum cleaner, a tummy-cizer) or said dumb things ("Your mom looks hot in a bikini") have to do time folding a mountain of socks and towels.

The video reminded me of a not-so-funny incident on my 30th birthday. The Ex "didn't have time" to buy me a gift, though he passed any number of stores between home, work and his favorite bar(s). My parents had thrown me a little celebration the day before, so the no-time argument was particularly lame.

After a storm of sobs and tears directed at him and another on the phone to Mom, the Ex went out shopping next day. Upon return, he magnanimously presented me with these gifts:

1. a bottle of Moët & Chandon champagne (cheap, because the franc was way down);
2. a brand-new hammer in a paper bag (on weekends we were renovating an old building out in the sticks).
   

The Ex took a photo of me with bottle in one hand and hammer in another, a manic smile plastered on my face. The champagne is long gone, but the hammer is with me still. As was the case back then, it hurts my wrist to use it. I prefer the lighter, slimmer antique hammer I bought at a yard sale for $1.

Cross-Cultural Cuisine

Seen at a Denver Asian supermarket. Also comes in Mild and Med. Hot.

The "touch of apple and honey" must wow 'em at Rosh Hashanah celebrations all over the Green Mountain State. I sure know what I'll be serving next year!

Poor Old "Pal"

Lionel Stander as Ludlow Lowell in the 1952-53 revival of "Pal Joey." The photo is unmarked and I didn't identify it conclusively till recently. But I knew from the Sagittarius on his tie that Dad was acting (he was a Capricorn and dressed soberly--at least till the late 1960s). He met my mom while playing the show on the road after it closed on Broadway.

Last March I borrowed an old copy of the book Pal Joey from a friend in New York. I quoted some choice passages in Pal Joey: Still Wise After All These Years. Little did I know that a revival of the musical was in the works.

Well, the reviews are coming in and let's just say they're...unflattering. Ben Brantley's assessment in today's NY Times begins: "How did a racy little ditty about girl-chasing turn into a dirge?" Worse, he uses the T-word to describe the production:

The vultures of Broadway — those kindly creatures who perk up at the first scent of a turkey carcass — have been circling “Pal Joey”...

Ouch! Unless there's some major retooling, the vultures probably won't be circling more than a month or so.

Out of curiosity, I checked the Internet Broadway Database to see how long the revival ran in which my father appeared: 540 performances, from January 1952 till April 1953. Wow! And he got 4th billing. (Elaine Stritch, then in her 20s, is near the bottom.) Now Daniel Marcus, the guy playing Ludlow Lowell, is #11 in the cast list. Obviously the character has been downgraded; Brantley noted that the book had been rewritten. In marked contrast to Brantley, in 1952 the NYT's Brooks Atkinson pronounced the show a "brilliant production." (He lauded Stritch's "caricature of a tough columnist" and Dad's "unctuously ferocious gangster.") Another NYT reviewer termed it a "happy restoration." I'll bet the current company is wishing for praise like that.

Signs of the Times

Poor Mr. Ed! What the locals didn't mention on my trip last week.

Bumper stickers on the rear of a white sedan in Simi Valley, CA:

On left: McCain.
On right: Obama.
In center: Can this marriage be saved?

California Dreamin'

I've had enough of winter already, and it doesn't officially begin until Sunday--also the beginning of Hanukkah. How I wish I was spending the holiday in Santa Monica with Tom Lehrer (or even without).

The Animals Sing for Christmas--with British Accents

Today has been another trial. My jaw hurts from yesterday's dentist visit; the MRIs show that 6 months after having the steel plate removed I still have screw-holes in my humerus, and after 2-1/2 years the bone hasn't grown back properly; the carpenter mis-installed one of the rolling trays in my kitchen cabinet and won't be back to fix it for another week or so.

But at least it was sunny and above freezing, and I got a good laugh from this Breathing Places video, courtesy of the Beeb:

Gesundheit!

I have a friend who sneezes when she's eaten her fill, a sign that it's time to bring out the coffee--or to call for the check.

The UK Guardian explains how her condition could be so much worse:

Sneezing uncontrollably after sex
may be more common than realised

Angry Thursday

I so did not have a fun day today. At 10:00 a.m., I showed up at the dentist's office to get knocked out for a crown and a couple of replacement fillings. (My theme song: "I Wanna Be Sedated.")

I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since midnight and for the first time ever, the dentist was running late. So I sat in the waiting room for 20 minutes with a parched mouth and rumbling stomach. Grr.

However, I read a very interesting article in Vogue magazine, after leafing through scores of advertisements for expensive ugly stuff. (A cobalt blue fur hat? What is Ralph Lauren thinking?)

Once I was finally ushered inside, the dentist informed me that today's procedure would have to be done in two sessions. He'd finish up in mid-January, when I'd be knocked out again--for an additional non-reimbursable $500 because my dental insurer considers IV anesthesia "optional." Grrr.

The session went well enough; then with the left side of my mouth numb and rubbery, I slid into a taxi and went to Presbyterian-St. Luke's medical center, for yet another MRI of my right arm and shoulder (still giving me trouble after 2-1/2 years and 3 surgeries). They had me fill out the exact same 3-page form as I did yesterday, when I had an MRI of the right brachial plexus (upper chest by armpit) at P-SL hospital directly across the driveway. Why couldn't they just have that form faxed over? "Oh, we can't. It's been sent to Records." Grrrr.

After spending 2+ hours in a narrow, banging tube (thankfully, still drowsy from the morning's anesthesia), I took another taxi home. There I found that the Boy Wonder hadn't:

1. brought my bag of holiday gifts to the post office;
2. walked Jenny;
3. left to take care of business at Metro State Denver (he's starting there next month) until 3:30, rather than in the morning as I'd requested. So I was left alone--hurting and nauseous--to contend with the guys who were installing additional cabinets in the kitchen.
   
4. checked to see whether the microwave was empty when he moved it to make way for the cabinets Wednesday afternoon. I'd forgotten a large open jar of honey in it, and BW didn't bother to look inside when he heard it fall over. "It's just the tray banging around." You would not believe the sticky mess all over. (You would believe how I blasted him when he got home.) ARGH!!!

In a futile effort to get my mind off my woes, I checked my email. There was a message from a writer with whom I've been (very) slightly acquainted over the past few years. Though her current editor--at a major house--is interested in her new manuscript, "Jane" is considering self-publishing because she thinks she'd make more money reaching her audience on her own. [HAHAHAHA!!!!]

Jane wanted to know:

1. whether I'd be giving a Book Promotion 101 workshop any time in her area, as she is "also working with a few writers who are thinking along these lines (self publishing) and I think they would be interested";
2. "I'm especially interested in creating and developing a website (related to my book and my consulting work) that is itself a revenue stream. Is that something you cover in your workshops -- or can cover?"
3. "I am on a brutal budget, so if there's an opportunity to help you publicize it and/or help you with it logistically in exchange for a discount, that would be great."

ARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!

After turning the air blue, I wrote Jane that she's crazy to ditch her editor for self-publishing in the current economic climate. More to the point, if her "brutal budget" won't cover my workshop, how can she afford a book designer, editor, website designer, publicity materials, postage, etc? And that it's critical to have not only a marketing plan, but a distribution system to get her book into people's hands [which is where most self-published authors fall face flat]. And that unless the workshop is sponsored by an organization, I take care of all the logistics myself. Finally, as prominently stated on my website: I only work with authors of commercially published trade books.

The crux of the matter, which I didn't put in my response, is this:
Why should I give away my hard-earned expertise (not to mention my time) to help someone, whom I barely know, to make more money?

I'm not the only one who was pissed off today. See:

• Absolute, unquantifiable heartbreak
• The Poster Child For Everything Wrong With PR

Creepy Statistic and Quote of the Day

From Looking Under the Hood and Seeing an Incubator, in today's New York Times:

...96 percent of foreign-donated medical equipment fails within five years of donation...

...no matter how remote the locale, there always seemed to be a Toyota 4Runner in working order.

Hence the nonprofit firm, Design That Matters, was contracted to design a neonatal incubator made of used or new car parts. (How brilliant is that?)

“The idea was to start with a 4Runner,” said Timothy Prestero, the firm’s founder and chief executive, “and take away all the parts that weren’t an incubator.”

Worst Headline of the Day

The front page of today's New York Times was bad enough. Then there was this from Denver's 9News.com:

On Monday morning the official low temperature plummeted to -18 degrees at DIA.* The coldest temperature on record for Dec. 15 was -6 degrees, last set in 1951.

*Denver Int'l Airport

Author To-Do List

At the end of the workshop for children's authors I gave in Southern California on Saturday, I had each attendee state what was the most important thing they'd learned that day. An author who couldn't attend had met me for a private consultation two days earlier. This morning she emailed me, unprompted, with a list of the most helpful things she'd learned in our session. By an interesting coincidence it echoes what Saturday's attendees said. (I must be getting my message across!)

With her permission I'm posting it here. From what I've seen lately, this should be EVERY author's to-do list.

1. Do a major remodel of my website.
2. When I go to NY, include my agent in the meetings with the publicity people and my editor.
3. Have a marketing plan on paper that I’ve sent to everyone ahead of time.
4. Come bearing gifts for everyone in the publishing house—cookies or something on the theme of the book, or something from my hometown.
5. Come with the attitude, “What can I do to make your job easier? How can we work together?”
6. Send the folks in my publishing house holiday cards thanking them.
7. Get my illustrator’s snail mail and email addresses.

A Good Laugh for the Trip

On Wednesday morning, when I flew to LA, the airport shuttle van came five minutes early, so it sat while I finished tearing around the house. My street is narrow, with parking on both sides, so there was very little room for other cars to maneuver around the van. When I got in, a woman at the wheel of an SUV was reaming my driver out for blocking the way and making her late to school.

All she had to do was back up a few feet and pull into a space by the curb so we could pass, and everyone would have been on their merry way. But NOOOO..... she wasn't about to give way to anyone. So there we sat while she ranted and railed.

"Use your head," she yelled at the van driver.

"Use your car," he retorted, though with none of her venom. I and the two other passengers roared with laughter.

More ranting, then she grudgingly backed into the space. We drove north; she drove south. I pity her students.

On the Road Again

The most beautiful place I've given a workshop: the courtyard outside our meeting room at St. Maximilian Kolbe Church, Westlake Village.

I've been in (mostly) sunny Southern California since Wednesday. The official reason for the trip was to give a Book Promotion 101 workshop yesterday, sponsored by the Tri-Regions of Southern California chapter of SCBWI. I decided to take a couple of extra days, which I crammed with visits to friends old and new in Santa Monica, LA and Venice.

When I left Denver, it was about 30 with a couple inches of snow on the ground, forecast to shoot into the 50s. When I arrived in LA at noon, it was 72, with bougainvillea and roses blooming everywhere. Bliss!

The weather here was balmy thru Friday, when I spent a couple of supremely happy hours at El Matador Beach, just north of Malibu. I enjoyed the clime even more when Baby Brother filled me in on the wretched time he was having with the ice storm in Maine. (Schadenfreude is a great sweetener. And Baby Bro's power is back on now.)

Baby Bro's icy front yard in Topsham, Maine.
(Current temp: 28F. Denver: 1.)

The last laugh's on me though: It dropped to 40 last night in Simi Valley (home of the Reagan Library--guess where I won't be going) and there's no heat in my hotel room. (Yeah, there's a thermostat, but it doesn't do anything.) I slept in a sweater zipped up over my nightgown and the covers over my head.

Better/worse still: It was ZERO and snowing in Denver a couple of hours ago; it'll be maybe 5F when I touch down tonight. I am soooo glad I'm taking a shuttle van home, so I won't have to shlep through the frigid, snowy parking lot in my lightweight LA clothes. And I am soooo going to drink in all the greenery and flowers in my remaining few hours here. (Next stop: Topanga Canyon.)

Update, Dec 15:
It was -14F (FOURTEEN DEGREES BELOW ZERO!!!) when my plane touched down last night. You should have heard the shrieks and groans when the pilot announced the local weather. As of noon, it's warmed up to all of +1F. I mean, seriously, WTF?

Yet Another Client Noted!

Proof that good things happen in threes:

Among the five nominees for the American Library Association's new YA debut award for books that "illuminate the teen experience and enrich the lives of its readers through its excellence" is MADAPPLE, by Christina Meldrum. The winner will be announced January 29.

WOOT!!!

Another Noted Client!

This just in from Book Promotion 101 workshop alum Frances Dinkelspiel, author of TOWERS OF GOLD: How One Jewish Immigrant Named Isaias Hellman Created California, published last month by St. Martin's. As you can see below, she has her great-great-grandfather Isaias's energy when it comes to promoting her book.

I followed lots of your advice and with great success. TOWERS OF GOLD was favorably reviewed in the LA Times, was the lead review in the Nov. 30 SF Chronicle and it made the Chronicle's bestseller list!

What I did:

• Collected email addresses over the years and mailed out an e-mail newsletter about TOWERS OF GOLD.
• Joined Facebook, set up a book fan site, and reached out to many long-time friends.
• Got op-ed pieces in both the LA Times and SF Chronicle on the financial meltdown. [Way to go!!!]
  
• Sent out postcards to many people.
• Set up more than 30 speaking engagements. While bookstores are good, co-sponsorships are best. I spoke at the California Historical Society, the Huntington Library, Temple Emanuel in San Francisco, the Mechanics Institute, etc.

I've been blogging for three years, so had an online community I could talk to. I still have a long way to go, but I'm happy with the sales of TOWERS OF GOLD so far. Of course, the fabulous Meryl Moss helped me, but I also did a lot of stuff myself. She has gotten me on numerous radio shows.

Fabu pull quotes:

"Impressively researched and engagingly told." -- Los Angeles Times

"A marvelous resource, a dramatic slice of Western history and a splendid read." --
San Francisco Chronicle

As noted in the Chron review, Isaias Hellman was "a model of fiscal sobriety":

"I am not a speculator," he once told a reporter for the Los Angeles Times. "I am strictly an investor, and I have all my life paid for things as I go along. I never borrow money. It is against my principles."

The LAT's review opines:

Greed and folly are constants of human nature and, therefore, of market economies, but it's hard not to wish Hellman wasn't still around to take a seat on President-elect Barack Obama's council of economic advisors. He'd feel right at home with the problems the new administration has inherited.

Doreen Orion, Noted & Quoted

Consulting client Doreen Orion, currently doing...I mean, marking...time in Crescent City, CA, made it into TWO (2!) newspapers this week.

First was The Rocky Mountain News holiday book gift guide: Nonfiction (scroll down to Travel), for her memoir, QUEEN OF THE ROAD. Which would indeed make a fabu gift.

Today, Doreen was quoted--as Dr. Orion, psychotherapist (but not author)--in a New York Times article about book groups, Fought Over Any Good Books Lately?

Swallow Before Reading!

If not, don't blame me if you spray your drink all over your keyboard. From a piece in today's NYT: Trump Sees Act of God in Recession:

By Mr. Trump’s account, sales [of condos in the Trump International Hotel and Tower] were going great until “the real estate market in Chicago suffered a severe downturn” and the bankers made it worse by “creating the current financial crisis.”

Those assertions are made in what The New York Times’s Floyd Norris calls a fascinating lawsuit filed by Mr. Trump, the real estate developer, television personality and best-selling author, in an effort to avoid paying $40 million that he personally guaranteed on a construction loan that Deutsche Bank says is due and payable.

Rather than have to pay the $40 million, Mr. Trump thinks the bank should pay him $3 billion for undermining the project and damaging his reputation....

Mr. Trump is vigilant in protecting his reputation... after Mr. Norris interviewed him and two associates, his general counsel sent Mr. Norris a note saying “it was a pleasure” talking to him, and adding: “Please be assured that if your article is not factually correct, we will have no choice but to sue you and The New York Times.”

Read the whole thing; it only gets better. The penultimate graf--and Deutsche Bank's legal filing--has a quote from Trump's 2007 bestseller, Think Big and Kick Ass in Business and Life:

“I figured it was the bank’s problem, not mine. What the hell did I care? I actually told one bank, ‘I told you you shouldn’t have loaned me that money. I told you the goddamn deal was no good.’ ”

Haven't I Seen You Somewhere Before?

John Hodgman and Professor Bunsen Honeydew of The Muppets. (See how great minds think alike.)











The Donald and The Medusa, by Caravaggio. She has better hair.

And if you think Frank Langella as Richard Nixon in "Frost/Nixon" sounds familiar, it's because his voice is identical to the original Sam the Eagle, by Muppeteer Frank Oz.

The Black Book Lady Welcomes You!

The Welcome White Folks video is out in the world. Creator Carleen Brice, aka the Black Book Welcome Lady, states that no non-black people were harmed in the making of it. In fact, she treated us to lunch afterward. (As previously noted, my cameo was cut, but I'm in the rousing and heartwarming finale.)

New York Approves!

Carleen Brice made it into the BRILLIANT HIGHBROW section in The Approval Matrix for her National Buy a Book By a Black Author & Give It to Somebody Not Black Month. I wrote about NBBBAGISNBM here and here (with demented pix of yours truly).

Carleen's video is coming soon, though my cameo ended up on the cutting-room floor. (I have calls in to my agent and manager.)

Be sure to read the Top 10 reasons white people should read books by black people:

8. Seriously, haven't you read enough Philip Roth? Jewish guy obsessed with sex and death. Oy! Enough already.